Saturday 12 October 2013

"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."

It is the third time I start this post, however; I fear that no matter what I write, I will not do fair justice to the person it is dedicated to.

Here we go again, and please do forgive my lack of coherence, but this is a tough one and since the person it is dedicated to, has been a source of inspiration for the last 20 years, he well deserves a place of honour in my blog.

Dear Antonio,

I woke up this morning with the awaited, but still devastating news of your death.

Life, and death, are a funny thing, we give then for granted, because they are only a breath away, but logic is not of great help when it comes to accepting the fact about those we love.

It has been a long, nourishing friendship, that turned out to be a very special one.

I remember when I made it to the last test for the recruitment process, the personal interview with the General Manager, the person who would become my boss in case of being the chosen one. That is the first memory I have of you.

I was 21, unexperienced, nervous and trying to project a very mature, self confident image of myself. I got the job!

From that moment on, and for the next four years, our working relationship was full of challenges, improvisation, hard work, milestones and disagreements. God, you were a stubborn man! (and I was bold and inexperienced ), but you had all my admiration.

We were a good team. We all were. Those were the golden years of my newly discovered adult life as a responsible worker.

You were a good leader, and a great teacher. You helped me, by pushing me to the limit, at times, to discover my skills and my strengths, and I became your shadow. You just had to look up, and I would be there, efficient and happy to help.

I did hate you at times, no worries. Two strong personalities confronted on a daily basis made us argue with vehemence, but you knew how to turn the argument into a good laugh, and constructive discussions would always follow.

We had good, enriching conversations, but I would say, it was after you left and you were no longer my boss, that our relationship changed and we became friends.

Now I look back, and realising that 20 years have passed, it seems a lot, but our friendship has always been fresh, youthful and full of love, respect and mutual admiration.

Many things have happened since then, but throughout the years you have always been there, as a source of inspiration and admiration. We have discussed from important matters to little silly things, but we have had fun.

Yes, today I am sad. Very sad. I will miss you dearly, I will miss talking and getting that kick in my self-esteem that you knew very well how to give me.

I have realised that it is often the case I quote you. I use the wise words you have presented me over the years, and when I think of you, inevitably, my face brightens up in a genuine smile.

One of the biggest lessons you ever gave me was once you wanted me to do something, and I said I could not do it. "Have you tried doing it before?", you asked.  "No, never", I replied. "So how do you know you cannot do it if you have never tried?". That one is still nowadays one of my life mottos, and you can be sure, I always try, and must of the times, succeed. ;)

My dear Toñito, you live in my heart and my thoughts.

& you owe me a coffee.

With all my love and admiration,
Xóchitl